Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My Journey to Faith: sister ZHU Chen's baptismal testimony (April 5, 2009)

Before I believed, I was always open to the idea of religion, such that I would still allow people to discuss the topic with me. However, I questioned the plausibility at every suggestion of the existence of God. I would pick at details of the information that others try to tell me, just to see if I would be able to spot a loophole and prove them wrong. I guess in some sense, I still did not want to give up what I was taught all these years that easily, it was like adapting to a new life – a stubborn process.

I came to know about Christianity through family members, who are devout Christians. I think the repeated exposure from them eventually softened my stance on the issue, such that at least I stopped arguing every time they bring up the subject. How I actually came to believe was caused by my job hunt. It was towards the end of the term, but I still have not found a job yet for the upcoming term. As you can imagine, I was anxious and nervous about the fact because if I did not have a job for this term, it would hinder my university studies. So one day, my relatives asked me if I would like them to pray for me regarding my job hunt. I took them up on their offer. However, they added that if I do find a job, I should not deny that it was an act of God, rather than how it was suppose to be. So I agreed and they prayed for me. The day before the interview, I was so nervous that I could not fall asleep. Then I decided to pray, which felt very soothing, as if the problem is no longer mine, but that of someone else, who is much more powerful and capable. This calmed me down extremely quickly and I was able to go to sleep. The same thing happened again the day before I find out the result and I prayed, and it felt like the pressure and anxiety from the wait was lifted off of my shoulders. Therefore, when I found out that I was offered the job, it only further solidified my belief that there exists a more powerful being.

Since my enlightenment to God, everyday feels so much easier to get through because everything will be planned for you and you no longer have to depend solely on your human powers to face difficulties. It is comparable to the safety and assurance that a child feels when it knows that the parents are always there to love them and help them through difficulties, only that the assurance we receive is from an omnipotent being whose wisdom we cannot even begin to grasp.

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